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| sometimes i miss old friends. and sometimes you want to get those
people back in your life, and you don't know how. i definitely
have been making a concerted effort to reconnect with people, with
varying levels of success. sometimes different things get in the
way.
my stupid car is supposed to finally be fixed today. and madeline
is getting hers fixed as well. that will make everyone happy in
my house.
the semester is finally ending. last spanish class is done.
last math class is skipped. western civ in twenty minutes, and
then one more class tomorrow and three tests later and i am done.
i wish i could say the same for debate/forensics. it is the bane
of my existence. how could something i once loved so much have
now beome a burden? i dont want to do forensics next semester,
but i know i will disappoint some if i dont. (naylor, my
brother....) but i need to for once do what is best for me.
i have an interview in the morning at douglas county bank! i hope
i get the job. that would be super sweet. it would give me
more options. there are some other jobs i can apply for if this
doesnt work out though.
i think my mom is trying to kill me. last night she made party
potatoes, and neglected to tell me until after i had eaten two servings
that she used cream of chicken soup in them?!? last friday she made me
eat an egg roll. NEVER AGAIN. my whole digestive system is
out of whack and i have only been eating like one meal a day and still
am sick. yuck yuck yuck. I HATE MEAT.
i better go brave the cold and snow to go to western civ.
hopefully the roads are clear before i have to go to work tonight,
hopefully steve lets me go early so i can get some sleep before this
interview.
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| yesterday i had my first meeting with my new "little sister" from the
big brothers big sisters program. she is such a cutie! she is in
eighth grade at central jr high and her parents are divorced and she
lives with her mom who is fighting cancer. she is very outgoing
and talkative and that helps alot. i have made a commitment to
really follow through on this, because last year she had a "big sister"
and she totally flaked out on her. she seems really nice and is
actually happy to have a volunteer friend. i think it was a very
good match. it will be nice to have a kid that doesnt cuss me
out! i am working three shifts at the shelter next week and i am
worried because i havent worked in like three weeks and whew! has it
been nice. but i need the money and they need the help. i
know i am going to have to work alot there over winter break because i
am not going to make any money at jimmy johns. and it is very
cold now and i am having less fun delivering. but ive made okay
tips this week, so that is nice. i can give some money to my
mom. she is in the process of getting her tax situation sorted
out though, and she might be getting a big refund, and that means there
might actually be some money for the wedding! wooo...hooo!
nathan and i have been looking at houses, and there are several cute
ones on the lawrence market right now. i had no idea that houses
were so expensive in lawrence though! at least twice what they would be
in shawnee county. the one we really want is right off campus on
stratford (two houses down from jrp) and it is perfect! except it is
the most expensive one we looked at. (469). but there is another
cute one on 22nd and mass that is only like 319 and a couple other cute
ones in the 200s. i think nathan might be a little dillusional
about how much we can afford. and i dont really feel comfortable
living in a house that is nicer than both of our parents! allow my mom
might live with us after my brother graduates from high school, because
i think she would be so totally lonely living in our big house in
silver lake all alone. that would be sad. i think she would
like living in lawrence.
i have everything taken care of for graduation!!!!!!!! well, i still
have to go to all my classes and pass them, but other than that it is
smooth sailing! i am going to graduate with honors with two degrees!!!
i am very excited. i think staying at ku and doing latin american
studies is the best desicion i have ever made. i am getting going
on my thesis, i actually came to the library to get more books and then
realized i couldnt check any out becuase even though nathan told me to
take my keys and my wallet i was like why would i need that? so
ill have to come back tomorrow which is okay. tonight i am going
to marshalls game with my mom, and then tomorrow im going to stop by
the debate tournament at topeka high but i dont have to stay all day!
but i want to go to see peter. were supposed to hang out when i
go to wichita for break too.
im so ready for a break! thanksgiving is going to rock. we
might only get to stay in wichita thursday though if nathan gets the
job at sunflower outdoor and bike shop. but that would be okay,
because i know he really wants that job.
so i really have to go to western civ now. unfortunately. but after that, it is officially the weekend!!!!!!
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| i have procrastinated so much on this stupid paper that i have due
tomorrow for hist 372. and i never do that really. i really
disliking this class. and i cant figure out exactly why.
because all the readings have been great. and most of the people
in the class dont totally suck. and i like the teacher and taken
other classes from him and liked them. so i dont know what the
deal is, but i just cant get into any of the assignments. and
they are pretty much all papers. i like being able to pick my
topic for a paper. uless its specifically laid out in a very
involved question, then i can usually stick to it and its okay.
but when the assignment is so vague it somehow makes it harder.
i really need to be working on other stuff too. i am so busy
lately. ive been picking up a couple extra shifts at jimmy johns
but not working at the shelter lately. and on saturdays im at
debate tournaments all day. and i found out todaywhen i finally
went and signed the contract that the principal was supposed to already
have mailed me that im really only making $600 for this semester since
im splitting the position with sarah and so i cant goto tournaments on
fridays. i know naylor really needs me to help out so im doing
it, but it would be so nice to have all day saturday free to get stuff
done. i can do some homework at the tournament, but mainly just
like reading. i cant do research or type papers or
anything. and im kind of pissed at the experienced
debaters. on monday when i called they said they wanted me to
come for a practice round on tuesday and we set it up for five, so i
drive straight from class to silver lake and get there at five and the
kids have all already gone and naylor is just getting ready to
leave. they all had something suddenly come up and had bailed on
the round. so i basically had driven to silver lake for
nothing. since i was going to be there anyway i had made other
plans, so i stayed and did some homework because the debate room is
really easy to work in. then marshall came down to his locker
after football practice and saw me, so we went and got dinner in topeka
and then watched fever pitch (except we didnt finish it so i havent
seen the end) so it was an okay trip in the end, but it offends me that
they dont have enough respect for me to actually show up when i drive
all the way from lawrence just to help them. they are really
lazy. and that is something that annoys beyond toleration.
maddy took some really cute pictures of nathan and me today. i
had a lot of fun just hanging around the apartment with him this
afternoon. even just being away from him for an extended period
of time makes me remember how nice it is to have him around.
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| i thought i lost my honors intent form and my international studies
major certification sheet, but i found them so i finished all the
paperwork for graduation today. i just have to get my high school
transcript so i can get the exemption from the speech requirement and
then everything will be all good with that. i still have tons of
stuff to do for grad school application though. i cant believe
some people apply to like a lot of places. that would take so
much work. i decided that im definitely staying at ku to get my
ma. it is working out really well and i am excited about
it. i want to say close to my family for a little while
longer. just to make sure everyone is settled. and its alot
of change right away to get married and move across the country and
all. and nathan is getting his education degree too, which is
think is a really good idea and something that will make him
happy. and ku has such a kick ass latin american studies
program. and i already have connections to professors here that
want to work with me and are excited to have me stay here. that
makes me feel really good. im so shy it takes me a while to warm
up to people that i think starting completely over at this stage at a
school would be more harmful than beneficial. i think a lot of it
is that i am really much more capable and talented than i look on
paper. you kind of have to know me to appreciate me i
guess. (at least thats my theory). one of my professors
(whose husband happens to be associate director of the graduate
program) said i am guarunteed to get in and that i should definitely be
able to get either a flas or a gta position or a fellowship.
this weekend was really fun. crazy roaring twenties party at
danny, and i got to wear my cute pink vintage looking max studio
dress. but now i have to get it dry cleaned because i think
someone spilt beer on me. (its not strawberry champagne at
least). nathan took tons (like over 150) pictures and they are
very fun. i think sometimes that i choose to not have fun and i
dont want to do that anymore. i can be social and have a good
time if i let myself. it was really wierd because by chance some
guys from my high school ended up coming over that i hadnt hung out
with in forever. its really such a small world.
i think sometimes i can be too possessive. i want to work on that.
im feeling good lately though. like im on top of things. which is nice and hopefully something i can maintain.
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| i am so lucky to have a guy like nathan. last night even though
he wanted to go out and hang with his guys he sat at home and did
nothing with me until i went to work. i didnt even have to ask
him to stay. he is so great.
which is why im going to marry him! im so excited.
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